He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
