there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
