i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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