I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
