Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
