member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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