i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
