I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
