My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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