you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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