all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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