he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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