More tranny stories later!
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
