He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
