Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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