i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
