If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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