She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
