This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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