I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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