don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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