They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We are two peas in an std pod
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
