Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Even my vagina gasped.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
