So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
