Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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