just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
