Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize