let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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