Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
