You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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