In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
