That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
