Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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