Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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