on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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