The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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