I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
