I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
