she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
