I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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