You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
