Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
that may or may not have been my penis.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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