Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
