You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
how drunk are you?
Several
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
