Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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