In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
