You really coming over, don't trick.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
