do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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