Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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