remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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