Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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