just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
