I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize