All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
