Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
