Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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