i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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