i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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