Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
