God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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