Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
