Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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