yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Randomize
