If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
