I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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