they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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