Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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