I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
