It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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