I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
