Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
